Saturday, July 9, 2011

Preparing for the Worse

 Recently my dad has been very ill. It's so hard for me cause we live away from them & I can't be by his side through all this. The past couple of years its been hard for him but he is a FIGHTER. When we think he has given his all, he beats the odds & keep hanging on. Something I don't want to imagine is life without him. As his heart problems worsen & his sicknesses are more frequent My mom & older siblings have decided now to make arrangements in case his time comes.The thought of it kills me.. I can't believe they are preparing for his funeral & he's not even dead. When I heard about all this I was very upset, why are they doing this? Why now? Why can't they wait? Who knows he can have many more years to live? How can they be so inconsiderate? I don't want to be a part of their planning.. like really? Call me selfish but I can't.. My dad has been a great impact in my life & trying to deal with all this when he's still alive seems wrong. I know death is part of life but no, my dad is a survivor & no matter what he'll overcome his illnesses. I'm such a mess right now, some nights I stay up thinking of getting a phone call that he's gone. Some days I call him like 5x's just to hear his voice. Other nights I'm in continuous prayer for his health & well being. I wish we can be there living in Portland, to see him everyday. How can I be strong when I know my family needs him? What kind of daughter will I be if I don't support my family's wishes? Why am I so stubborn? Who will I turn to when that time comes? I'm in need of answers but mainly I can't deal with preparing for the worse..esp. when it has to do with my DAD:(
Posted by LEI'S at 3:32 AM

3 comments:

  1. RitaJuly 9, 2011 at 8:13 AM

    Your Dad sounds like an amazing man. I'm sure that he has taught you all that you need to know so that when his time comes to return to our Heavenly Father he will go knowing that you and the rest of your family will be fine. As far as the funeral plans go, it's always best to be prepared. It's better to do it now than to have to deal with while dealing with his lose...trust me. As hard as it may be, try not to focus on what lies ahead...instead cherish the moments that you have with him now. <3

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  2. Tilly AfuvaiJuly 9, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    Lex this seriously got me teary eyed! I hope you guys will get the chance to head down to Portland soon to spend time with your family especially your dad. We are praying for him:) Love ya!

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  3. AnonymousJuly 9, 2011 at 1:39 PM

    :'( Sorry to hear about ur dad. I no wat its like to be far away n not be able to physically help a sick parent. Ur in my thoughts n prayers. ♥

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where TONGA meets SAMOA:) Cheesy as it may sound; it was really love at 1st Sight:) Ta'ahine TONGA finds her Tama SAMOA..choo-hoo! & created the cutest HAFEKASi boys ya ever seen! Counting our blessings & love spending time with our families & friends:)