I MISS YOU!

 This October will mark 2 years since my beloved grandmother 'Ana Hevaha Tafea's passing. I was very close to her & just thinking about her beautiful smile tears me up. Without my grandma my family would have never came to America from Tonga. She worked so hard to make a better life for her children, esp. her grandchildren & I'm forever grateful to her for that. She loved life & everything was about FAMILY. She was a great influence in my life & I was the lucky one to be her only namesake. I strive everyday to live up to her expectations & carrying on her name. She taught me so many things & today am using those teaching in raising my kids. She always told me to follow my dreams & listen to my heart, never give up even if the road is tough keep going. She was an example of that.. being disabled & in a wheel chair for the last 13 yrs. of her life wasn't easy but she never let anyone feel sorry for her. A year before her passing she slowly became more ill.. She could no longer eat any solid foods & loss feeling in her hands,but she continue on fighting to live another day. Her body may have taken all it could but her heart was stronger than ever.. she may have lost her sense to feel but to us her voice was enough. She loved to sing & when we'd visit she'll sing songs & talk for hours. The day I got the phone call that she had passed I couldn't believe it, although we knew she didn't have alot of time no one is ever prepared to hear & deal with the loss of a loved one. Hearing my sister's voice on the other line say, " She's gone Lexx, she's gone". Tears ran down my face as I reflected back on the wonderful life she lived & the endless memories we created together. I felt lost, my heart was hurting it felt as if I couldn't breathe. I laid in my bed & cried for hours, Joon would come in to check on me but I just wanted to be alone. How could I go on without her? She was the glue that held our family together. What are we going to do without her here to keep everyone in line & remind us of what being a FAMILY was all about? Then, I remember what she always told us growing up.. "Koe lotu moe famili oku uluaki taha he mouini, Nofo he taimini he ko pongipongi oku kake palomesi ha taha teu tau sio ki ai". meaning. "God then family always, live in the moment & never take life for granted because tomorrow is never promised". Dealing with her death was very difficult but remembering her many wise advice & great life lessons helped me cope with it. I'll cherish all those memories & live my life each day as if it were my last. I miss your laugh, your smile & warm touch. You may be gone but you will NEVER be forgotten. Till we meet again my Beautiful angel. 'Ofa lahi atu Grandma!