I MISS YOU!

 This October will mark 2 years since my beloved grandmother 'Ana Hevaha Tafea's passing. I was very close to her & just thinking about her beautiful smile tears me up. Without my grandma my family would have never came to America from Tonga. She worked so hard to make a better life for her children, esp. her grandchildren & I'm forever grateful to her for that. She loved life & everything was about FAMILY. She was a great influence in my life & I was the lucky one to be her only namesake. I strive everyday to live up to her expectations & carrying on her name. She taught me so many things & today am using those teaching in raising my kids. She always told me to follow my dreams & listen to my heart, never give up even if the road is tough keep going. She was an example of that.. being disabled & in a wheel chair for the last 13 yrs. of her life wasn't easy but she never let anyone feel sorry for her. A year before her passing she slowly became more ill.. She could no longer eat any solid foods & loss feeling in her hands,but she continue on fighting to live another day. Her body may have taken all it could but her heart was stronger than ever.. she may have lost her sense to feel but to us her voice was enough. She loved to sing & when we'd visit she'll sing songs & talk for hours. The day I got the phone call that she had passed I couldn't believe it, although we knew she didn't have alot of time no one is ever prepared to hear & deal with the loss of a loved one. Hearing my sister's voice on the other line say, " She's gone Lexx, she's gone". Tears ran down my face as I reflected back on the wonderful life she lived & the endless memories we created together. I felt lost, my heart was hurting it felt as if I couldn't breathe. I laid in my bed & cried for hours, Joon would come in to check on me but I just wanted to be alone. How could I go on without her? She was the glue that held our family together. What are we going to do without her here to keep everyone in line & remind us of what being a FAMILY was all about? Then, I remember what she always told us growing up.. "Koe lotu moe famili oku uluaki taha he mouini, Nofo he taimini he ko pongipongi oku kake palomesi ha taha teu tau sio ki ai". meaning. "God then family always, live in the moment & never take life for granted because tomorrow is never promised". Dealing with her death was very difficult but remembering her many wise advice & great life lessons helped me cope with it. I'll cherish all those memories & live my life each day as if it were my last. I miss your laugh, your smile & warm touch. You may be gone but you will NEVER be forgotten. Till we meet again my Beautiful angel. 'Ofa lahi atu Grandma!

Eternal Families:)

          I'm so happy to share that my dear friend/sister Marian & her lovely family were Sealed for All Time & Eternity in the Seattle Temple on June 25th.2011:) It was a Beautiful day & I'm so glad we were able to witness such a memorable occasion. As I sat in my seat & their son Lil Will came in tears started to flow like a waterfall down my face. I felt such a warm feeling of happiness towards their family. It made me reflect back to the day when She was not yet a member but had lots of questions about the Gospel. It was a rainy spring day & we were sitting in her car outside the Laundromat eating ice cream.lol.. She said that they were thinking about attending church but didn't know which one to attend. I seen this was the PERFECT chance to do Missionary work, I shared w/ her my testimony & the great blessings that come with being a worthy member of the church. Also, some of the stereotypes that we @ times are labeled, but just as long as we know who we are & what we believe in no one's opinion really matters. She seemed a little interested but wanted to weigh out their other options. I was surprised to hear that 2 weeks later she decided to be baptized:) whoo-hoo! I'm was so proud of her for making a big decision & realizing that it was the BEST thing for her lil family. 1 year later, we're in the Temple witnessing their family being sealed for ETERNITY:) Seriously, I couldn't stop crying.. like I said in my previous post I'm a crybaby.lol. I'm excited for all that the Lord has in-stored for their lil family & all the wonderful blessings they'll receive from entering the house of Lord. Good friends come & go but BESTFRIENDS never leave your side:) I love you Marian & I cherish our sisterhood that has developed through out the years. You're a great example in my life & I know we'll be old ladies one day sitting on a bench sippin' sum lemonade & looking back to see a friendship filled w/ amazing memories:) yay! for ETERNAL FAMILIES :) Love the Lei's *

Always thinking of YOU!

      Over this past weekend I found that my dear friend had a miscarriage & it was her first child. She was rushed to the hospital but when they got there she lost so much blood that there was nothing the doctors could do to save it. I felt so bad for her & her husband, they were so excited to be parents & instead of preparing for a baby they'll be mourning a child they'll never get to meet:( My heart goes out to her & I know she understands that Families Are Forever. I love you Sanalei! This is a sensitive topic to me personally because I had a miscarriage in 2005. I never want to relive that day but hearing about Sanalei & her loss I just broke down. We talked for hours & I just wished Hawaii was a city away because I wanted to be with her, hold her & comfort her during this terrible time. As I sat there griping the phone & fighting back the tears I told her what happen to me. She was shocked to hear of such tragedy in my life but was more surprised at how I never showed any sign of depression. Thanks to my parents for raising me in the church to understand the plan of salavation & eternal families I learned to live & deal with what happened. It's been 6 yrs. & I never forgot about my unborn child. Gosh I'm crying as I try to type this post..I'm such a cry baby.. but I always think of what he/she would have been like? Looks? Personality? hobbies? dreams? It was the worst day of my life. Even though Joon & I were so young & bringing a baby in the world would be hard, we knew that our family would help us along the way. The night after it happened I couldn't sleep, just thinking about a child that we created & never having the chance to bring in this world broke my heart. I blamed myself for a long period of time..What if I stopped playing b-ball , What if I took prenatal vitamins, What if I listened to all those Tongan superstitions my mom told me..WHAT IF??? Losing a child is never easy, but I know that things happen for a reason. It wasn't our time to be parents, I came to realization that the Lord's blessings are precious & even though we lost one it didn't mean we couldn't try for more. So, when I had Zion & Isi back to back in 2007 I seen it as a blessing in disguise. Maybe their older sibling in Heaven sprinkled some extra LOVE on us:) Watching my boys grow up I cherish all their many milestones, tantrums, laughs, cries but simply their sweet innocence. Never forgetting about the one who is watching us from above; I'm always thinking of "YOU".. <3

"TAKE IT & RUN WITH IT"

 Today's lesson in Relief Society about Eternal Families really got me thinking. I was overwhelmed by how precious & sacred the ordinances we make in the Temple are & also how sad it is that I've been slacking BIG TIME on attending the Temple. As I sat in my seat & listened to a very spiritual lesson I realized that I've been neglecting to do my part as a Companion to my husband & Mother to my kids. Not the everyday responsibilities as Mommy & Wife, but helping the spiritual growth of my lil family. Blessings from attending the Temple are more important than any worldly obligation I have. Hearing different sisters share of how they wish to have a Priesthood holder in their home or to be sealed to families one day.. really hit me "I have that but I'm not taking advantage of it". Having the chance to be in the house of the Lord & do his work is where my husband & I need to be. Even w/ the everyday hassles of life we NEED to attend the Temple more often. NO EXCUSES!! My family means everything to me, I have to remember that my boys will only understand & learn more about the blessings of the Temple if Mommy & Daddy show them through example. We can't just teach them things about the Temple we have to DO what's needed to reflect that. As, one of the sisters said in class.."If you have the Priesthood in your home & are sealed to your families, "TAKE IT & RUN w/ IT". Those are the words that I'm going to try my best to live by. Tomorrow is a new day & a chance to be a better wife,mother,daughter,sister,friend.. Truly grateful for the Gospel in my life esp. for my Eternal Family! Here's to taking it & running w/ it! NO looking back:)

CONGRATS SON!!

 Today was one to remember:) Zion graduated from PRE-SCHOOL!! wHOOO! I'm so proud of you Son. This morning was very different from any other school day. He actually woke up early, got him self dressed & ate ALL his breakfast..lol.. can we say EXCITED?? hehe.. I'm so happy that I felt well enough to take him to school & see him receive his pre-school diploma. Earlier in the week I didn't think I would be feeling good enough to take him but I'm so relieved that my body was cooperating today.lol. Zion was super excited to give his friends their candy leis & his teacher Mrs.Spencer her thank you poster! I'm not going to lie I cried driving home as I looked back in the rear view mirror @ him holding his diploma smiling from ear to ear. I LOVE YOU son! Mommy can't wait to do it all over again next year:)

AMAZED!

  Wow! it's June already... that means summer is here & Zion's first year of school has come to an end:( I get teary eyed just thinking about it. Well, that day is today & for some reason I can't seem to sleep. Feels like it was just yesterday when Joon & I were @ the clinic freaking out over the news that I'm pregnant but even more scarier is that I was already 7 1/2 mths along. Thinking back to that day all that was running through my head was "OMG! this kid is going to have sum major problems". When I gave birth to him he was PERFECT.. nothing wrong; physically nor mentally. Last summer when we were prepping him for Pre-School, he seemed to catch on quickly & memorize everything. I knew he would LOVE school & learning new things everyday! Throughout the school year I've seen a drastic growth in him. He's become more social with other kids, & loves to talk your ear off..lol. More importantly he recognizes his shapes,colors,letters,etc. & w/out hesitation solves his own problems:) Yesterday I had a little chat w/ him about his last day of school & summer time which means there's no school for a couple of months. I was expecting him to freak out & ask why there's no school, but he surprised me by saying.." Mom, I'm gonna be sad that school will be over but I know my friends & Mrs.Spencer will be back in the Fall time".. Summer is fun because we get a break & Mrs. Spencer can rest too, because she teach us a lot of stuff for a long,long time.. she can go vacation". Awwww:) I sat there in AMAZEMENT @ how much my baby has grown up. In 10 months he has learned so many things & as bittersweet as it may be I am super excited for the next school year. Everyday is a new adventure w/ Zion.. he has the biggest imagination & a bigger personality to match. He has such a loving heart, always thinking about others:) You're our "SUPRISE" baby & we are so blessed to have you in our lives! I am so proud of you Son, continue to be the awesome boy you are & I know that w/ all your great qualities it'll structure the Amazing man you'll become one day! Mommy LOVES you my china boy:) Today it's all about YOU!! Bring on KINDERGARTEN:D!!