my baby Isi .

 Since the day he was born he's been thru so much. I wish I could of traded places with him so he wouldn't have to endure such pain. After his surgery the doctors said that there will be some delay in his speech due to the breathing tube that was in his throat after surgery, but he'll eventually be okay. He's actually been making more progress this past year in talking & communicating with us. When we went in for his 4 yr. check-up last month the Dr. evaluated him & she seen some fluid in his ears that haven't went away since his check-up in December. She was worried that he was losing his hearing, which freaked me out! I told her that I haven't noticed anything different about him & that he hasn't shown any signs of discomfort. She then added that he needs to go see a speech therapist, which upset me because I've asked her many times if she recommended we do that & she said, "No". I've even got other consultations from other physicians who said the same thing, he'll be okay! Now months later she wants to tell me he might be losing his hearing & he need speech therapy. I was so mad, I sat there in the office watching Isi play & thought to myself "WHY HIM"? It's a miracle that he's even alive, now with all this he'll have to go thru more testing & dr visits. My heart hurts for him because he's only a child who doesn't understand what's going on. One thing that just kills me is seeing my kids in pain. I know that I have to hold it together & be strong but its just not fair. He's been doing so good, I know he's more active & loud than other kids but that's his personality. As we left the dr's office & got into the car he seen me crying & asked worriedly, "Mom you okay? Give me big hug." I just gave him the biggest hug & told him everything will be okay. I love you son & no matter what or how long it takes I promise you that we will get thru it together. I've set up appointments for a specialist to see him to check his hearing. Praying that everything goes well with my baby, the last thing I want to see is him back in a hospital bed:( Mommy LOVES you ISI.

emotional.

For weeks ive pepared myself to teach the ysa sunday school class for the 1st time. sunday was the day and man did i choke. I read the chapters, studied the lesson & when I stood up there I went blank. fraaak! i completely forgot everything I prepared & found myself self reading out of the handbook like I didnt even study the lesson. i repeated myself so many times & didnt even get my points across.This past week has been sooo EMOTIONAL for me. My big sis feina & her family moved to Tonga:( we were going to drive up there to say good-bye but jr had to work & my sis had to leave earlier than planned,everything was so messed up. I tried sooo hard to pull myself together but i just couldnt stop thinking about my sister and her 7 kids. i miss their lil faces still cant believe they'll be so far away from us. i wanted my 1st time teaching our ysa to go smooth & instead it was a disaster. i know im capable of teaching & doing so much better, i dont want them to think i cant do this. On my way home i cried, not because it went bad but because i let my nerves get the best of me. ive always been a cry baby but after such an emotional week i was glad it was over. This week wont be any better since my sis kay is moving  to utah:( i knoe its part of life & everyone makes changes but its hard enough living away from my family:( uggh I need to get it together:/

power of PRAYER.

its the new year & I'm so grateful for the many blessings in my life thus far. I was sad to be released from the YW's :( but excited to have been called along with Jr to be the Spiritual parents for the YSA:) Its been an emotional roller coaster the past few months but I wouldn't change anything about it. I've learned so much about myself that I never thought were possible.There were some hard times but life lessons don't come easy. I know that now. I haven't prayed so hard these last couple of months for some answers. After going thru these changes I understand that this is the best thing for me now. I know my Heavenly Father loves me & thru his constant guidance I can become a better person. I miss my girls but I know they are in great hands:) Now I can start this new journey with the YSA & although I'm super nervous I'm so glad to have my husband by my side. Our work is needed with them now & I know that whenever I'm feeling discouraged or in need of inspiration I can just kneel down & speak with my Heavenly Father.Truly grateful for the power of prayer!