defeated.

  Today went from being Great to Bad within a few hours. My boys & I attended church as usual, my mother-in-law came along today to help with Isi [bless her heart] cause I had a meeting after church. I felt such a warm feeling today seeing my lovely yw's & awesome friends who make me smile with their great conversations. I walk into our opening exercise sit down & within a few mins, I find myself in the hallway breaking up a fist fight between 2 of my girls. While walking them to the Bishop's office I felt that warm feeling drift away & I became sad. Why did this happen? What was the problem? Was it my fault for not being a better example to them? In my head I constantly thought these things. After talking with Bishop I walk back to the Young Womens' room, peek in & seen their faces I just broke down. I couldn't be in there, I went in the mother's room & balled my eyes out, asking my heavenly Father for the some guidance. Pleading to comfort these yw & soften their hearts towards one another. I thought maybe this could have been prevented, maybe I wasn't doing enough to help & protect these girls from these situations. I try my best to set good examples for them to follow & even offered advice to them whenever they needed me I made it known that I'll always be there for them. After sometime church was over & I went looking for my boys, I was notified that our meeting was cancelled due to the incident.

  Heading home I didn't think this day could get any worse, but I was wrong. As I changed my boys out of their suits I hear my phone ring. Answering it I did not recognize the phone number, but I did the voice on the other line. It was a parent of one of my girls & she was pissed. I sat there as she told me off questioning my position as counselor & how could I have let this happen. I apologized & she just hung up. Walking back to my room I thought maybe I wasn't the good leader I thought I was. Maybe my efforts were not enough. Tears again rolled down my face as I try to hide my sadness from my boys. Laying them down to nap, again my phone rang. I was hesitant to answer but did anyways, to my suprise it was another parent even more pissed  then the 1st. My heart was saddened after hearing what she had to say, I apologized but she didn't want to hear any of it. I fell to my knees & again asking my Heavely Father for some guidance & comfort. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I just step down from my calling? Should we go back to our palangi ward? Where did I go wrong in serving these young girls? I miss my Mom & my Sisters, these are the times I wish I could just drive to their house & let it all out. There is one thing I know for sure, I feel DEFEATED:(:(