"I'll be there"

 I love being a happy, talkative person, I think I get it from my dad. He is friendly & the funniest person I know. I've built some great friendships with having these qualities but I have also lost some. In high school I was voted best sense of humor by my peers & I took that as a compliment. I find that always smiling & making people feel loved is important. We don't know how a person's day is going or how tough their life is, but with a smile & great conversation it could mean a lot to them.My Junior yr. in High school I lost a dear friend in a swimming accident. It's something I don't talk about because I still blame myself for it. Well, it was a hot summer day & a group of my closest girlfriends made plans to have a beach party. I was running late cause my mom told me if I didn't finish some pages in my personal progress I couldn't go.[she know how to kill a mood]..lol. Well, my friend Patricia kept calling me for a ride & I kept declining her calls cause I was trying to focus on finishing my stuff so I can go. An hour passed & I still haven't left, mom was lecturing me about choosing the right & making sure that I had my priorities straight but all I could think of was meeting up with my girls & having a good time. I get a call from Patricia & I answer,"Lexx what's taking you so long? My mom won't let me leave with anyone else if it's not you, let's go already". Me: "My mom is trippin' she says I have to finish up some church stuff if I want to use her car". Her: "Forget about it, I need to get out of my house, my mom is buggin' & I just need you to pick me up, please!" Me: "Sorry girl, I'll try to knock this out so I can come through I'll call you when I'm done. Her: "Fine, whatever I'll just sneak out & take the bus, I'll see you there". Me: "Just wait I'll be there soon." [click] She hung up. As I hurried to finish up I got this terrible feeling in my stomach & for a moment thought I was getting sick. My mom came in & asked if I was done & I gladly handed her my personal progress & said,"YES"! I grabbed my beach bag & mom's car keys & ran out the door.

  Driving to the beach I felt the urge to rush & get to my friends & enjoy the rest of my day, but as I'm pulling up to the entrance way all I see are ambulances,police cars & my girls circled around. I put the car in park & didn't even take my keys out the ignition running to see what happened. I walk towards my girls & all I see is a body on the beach with paramedics trying to revive someone. As I get closer I catch a glimpse of a lifeless hand & a bracelet that said, "proud to be Tongan". It was Patricia, the bracelet I had given her Freshmen year. I dropped to my knees crying & yelling to the paramedics to save my friend. They were able to get a pulse & put her into the ambulance &off to the hospital. I sat on the beach with my girls & balled my eyes out, it was all my fault if I would have just left when she called she's still be alive. We all got into my girl Sina's car & rushed to the hospital to be by her side. Walking into the E.R I felt that same feeling in my stomach from earlier. We get to the nurses station & they showed us to the area she was taken to. We get there & waited for about 15mins. until a Doctor came out. He told us that she didn't even make it out the Ambulance, she died on the way to the hospital:( I couldn't believe it my dear friend of 6 years was gone, she needed me & I wasn't there. Tears couldn't stop running down my face, I felt so guilty for her death. I've always made time for her & always reminded her that whenever,whatever I got her back. That day I didn't, I knew how far she came from being abused by her step-dad to dealing with a mother who'd rather party than stay home & raise her children. I knew that her life was miserable but being with us girls always made her happy & forget about all the troubles at home. All I could think of were those last words I said to her, "I'LL BE THERE". Why did this have to happen to such a young,beautiful person. Being raised in the church you'd think it would be easy for me to cope with such a tragic loss but no it was very challenging. I miss her face, her laugh, corny jokes & lovable personality. Nothing can bring her back but now I had to live with it. I should have been there.

  Dealing with her loss was very difficult but thanks to my family,close girlfriends, & the Gospel I was able to finally understand that it was her time. Since that day I made a promise to myself that no matter what, where, who, needed me I'd make the greatest effort to be there for my friends. I know death is a part of life but in this situation is was also an eye-opener for me to cherish those who I care about esp. my friends. I love building a sisterhood with my girls I consider BEST-FRIENDS. In my opinion a best friend is not just one person its individuals who you can laugh,cry, trust,confide in with everything & anything in their lives. I kept those last words I said to Patricia in mind,"I'LL BE THERE". Meaning when it comes to my friends I'll always strive to be by their side in a time of need. I'm blessed with Old & New friends in my life & whenever I have the chance to HELP,SUPPORT or ADVISE any of them I feel that Patricia is smiling down on me. I may not have been there for her but life is full of lessons & from that day I try to be, the greatest friend I know I can be. Truly grateful for each & every wonderful friend in my life. I miss you PAT, our memories we've shared I'll hold dear to my heart forever. [R.I.P] Gone but never forgotten my sweet Angel. I love you!